The Sword Guy Podcast

Guy Windsor 

I’m here today with Romana Shemayev, who is an American songwriter and performer, translator of contemporary Russian poetry, and one of the founders of Bent Blades, which is a gathering of Historical European Martial Arts enthusiasts who studied German Longsword fencing according to the principles of Johannes Liechtenauer. Now without further, ado, Romana, welcome to the show.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Thank you. Good morning.

 

Guy Windsor 

Nice to meet you.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Likewise, I’m sorry to have missed your seminar that you did in Madison.

 

Guy Windsor 

Well, yeah, because my first question was going to be, whereabouts in the world are you? And you just sort of let us know you’re close to Madison.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I am. I live in Madison, Wisconsin. I’ve been living here since 2000

 

Guy Windsor 

It is a lovely city. What brought you to Madison?

 

Romana Shemayev 

My first assignment was as a parish priest in the USSR, a country that no longer exists, kind of in a long time ago, a galaxy, far, far away. I came to this country in 93 right after collapse, to study theology and became a priest. I joined an order in Chicago. I studied and lived in for almost four years. I was ordained in 2000 and sent on my first assignment to Madison. That’s how ended up here. So consequently, I left, obviously.

 

Guy Windsor 

Why obviously?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, because I’m here talking to you in a very different capacity.

 

Guy Windsor 

Fair enough. Okay, do you mind my asking why you left?

 

Romana Shemayev 

As much as I appreciate the Dominicans and life as I have lived it back in the 90s as a student, I ultimately found that, for me, once I started actually working as a full priest, I found it a very alien and very lonely lifestyle kind of incompatible with what I was becoming to realize about myself. So, for me, it was the life incompatible with the notion of my life. So I couldn’t live it with integrity, and I left.

 

Guy Windsor 

Fair enough. If only all priests who find themselves in a similar situation, would do the same.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I don’t know that. I can only speak for myself.

 

Guy Windsor 

How did you get into historical martial arts?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, Romantic literature of the 19th century, Alexander Dumas, Sir Walter Scott, historical movies. I just really liked history always because for me, history is amazing. It’s a story which actually happens. Living in St Petersburg, going to the museums, looking at armor and swords and other shiny objects, historical films and, you know, whatever fighting that I was exposed to. So that kind of all coincided, you know, when I was little. Let’s see, does the name Mikhael Gorelik mean anything to you?

 

Guy Windsor 

Not immediately, no.

 

Romana Shemayev 

He was one of the Soviet pioneers of, I wouldn’t say historical reconstruction, but he was a scholar, a historian who specialized in studying weapons and armor, epidemically. Wrote a number of articles, and he was one of the first ones to present to the world drawings of what these people actually looked like in period, based on historical memorabilia that we have. Because right now to figure out what a 12th century knight would look like, you have to study effigies, you have to study manuscripts. And he did that. So he published several articles just about the ancient, medieval Renaissance warfare. They were published in popular magazines. When I was growing up, my grandfather was an avid collector of interesting articles, like I have binders of my stuff, he had binders with the stuff we should clip out and glue together in the homemade book, like, interesting articles. And he had this portfolio which was called “Interesting Articles”. And one of them was this Mikhael Gorelik’s study about knights and very detailed, very comprehensive and very scholarly kind of presentation of what knights were, and what was knighthood in itself, and what was the world around it, and how they functioned, and how they fought, ostensibly based on what we know and how they looked from the ninth century to the beginning of the 17th like, this is the evolution of European armor. Like, this is how it all worked. This is how much it cost. So I think maybe like nine at the time when I saw that, I was like, oh my god, this is so cool. And look at them. They look nothing like us. Your suit and jacket is boring. This is cool. So that’s kind of when it all started and then, of course, like reading The Three Musketeers, by Dumas, which was basically was my escape mechanism when I was an angsty teenager growing up in the USSR, and literally divorcing myself from reality in my head and going there. And then I did some modern Olympic Olympic fencing, also, in my early teens, that honestly left me cold. I developed some skills, but everything was geared towards scoring points for your country, and that just didn’t resonate. Even now, I can pick up a foil or whatever Olympic weapon, I have no emotional connection to this thing.

 

Guy Windsor 

It’s not a sword.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I deeply value what it can teach us as historical fighters in the sense of timing, measure, just physical agility and whatnot, this, and I admire that, and that’s awesome.

 

Guy Windsor 

I have a couple of fencing foils right there, right-handed and left-handed. There is nothing better for learning point control.

 

Romana Shemayev 

And it’s awesome. And people who snub it as something. It’s a sliver of historical fencing made into a sport. It has very solid foundations, and it’s really, really good. And, you know, who knows? Maybe when I’m too old and frail to handle historical swords, maybe for me, that would be like, this is what I physically can do now, maybe at a slower speed, and then it’s great. Yeah, so I did that, and then life happened. And then I developed just different interests. I wanted to become a priest, the middle ages, but from a different perspective. And then when life finally happened, after 40, I just generally began to rethink my life and kind of making a bucket list of what I really would like to do. I started transitioning, I became infinitely freer and infinitely happier. And I was like, Okay, well, now that I am really myself,  what is out there that I really want to do? And you know, sword fighting. I was like, swords whatever. And I had no idea where to start, but my partner at the time said, you know, if you can think it, Internet has it, Google it. And I did, and all of a sudden, HEMA, what the hell that is. And videos and people doing it. And, you know, this is really cool. And I looked at a video, actually, “Why Liechtenauer”, it was a video of some person was showing Liechtenauer basic guards. I’m like, oh, okay. Well, that actually makes sense. And then I picked up the phone, I called my friend and said, “Hey, I found this really cool thing on the internet. Do you want to do this with me?” And he said, “Sure”. He had a wooden waster. I went online, bought myself this horrible, Cold Steel, black plastic sword shaped baseball bat, which, at the time, I thought was really cool. And we found an online manual by Triangle Sword Guild and we started doing it on the parking lot. And I said, “You know what? We both have some Olympic fencing background. We know the importance of footwork. So as we kind of take these guards and make our bodies adjusted, how about like for three months, we just practice changing from guard to guard with proper footwork.”

 

Guy Windsor 

If only you found a Fiore video instead.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I know. Sorry. But the thing is, early KDF and Fiore are more alike than they’re different. Once you get into Meyer world, it becomes a little just different thing. But early KDF, I find similarities with, like, early KDF and some of the Asian sword arts. You know, there is only so many things you can do with a five foot lever. Just physics. So we started doing that. We had self-discipline not to start bashing each other. And then people saw us and got intrigued. And then couple of folks were driving by. Took a very sharp u-turn. And it’s like, Oh, you guys are doing HEMA. We do HEMA too. They ever since, just quit the HEMA CAC, not because of us, just life happened to them. But then they kind of introduced us to another person in Madison who was doing specifically Meyer, but.

 

Guy Windsor 

Who’s that?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Chris?

 

Guy Windsor 

Chris Vanslambroek, yes, yeah. I was staying at his house when I was in Madison. Yeah.

 

Romana Shemayev 

There you go, yeah. So he was doing it approximately the same time when we started. We couldn’t afford his lessons, so we just continued to study it at our own pace. So those new friends of ours, recommended Christian Tobler’s book, yeah, which has been our staple. It’s very well loved, very well worn.

 

Guy Windsor 

That’s In St George’s Name. That’s a very good book.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, it has a lot of rain stains and whatnot. And as a little feral group of friends who just got together in a park to do things, that was our staple to study from so we became self-taught, essentially, and then all the correction and adjustments happened through going to the tournaments, talking to the right people, watching YouTube videos, and we’re almost 10 years old at this point.

 

Guy Windsor 

And this is Bent Blades.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Bent Blades. That was my friend’s suggestion for the name, because I wanted to be kind of queer. I wanted to give the LGBT.

 

Guy Windsor 

Ah… That’s why it’s bent. I hadn’t made the connection.

 

Romana Shemayev 

But I don’t want it to be, you know, on the nose.

 

Guy Windsor 

It’s subtle enough that I missed it. Because Bent Blades, I think, okay, like, my I hit something with the Rapier a bit too hard.

 

Romana Shemayev 

And we take pride that being kind of very inclusive. You know, we have a lot of trans people with us, lots of LGBTQI+ people, we kind of specifically advertised that by like, no MAGA, no Nazis, no anti vaxxers are allowed. And guess what? That’s a marvelous filter. And then all the progressive LGBT people come to you.

 

Guy Windsor 

So is it actually like a formally constituted, non-profit making organization, or is it just an unofficial group of people?

 

Romana Shemayev 

It’s an unofficial group of people. We’re a club in the HEMA world, because that’s the lingo HEMA operates with, and but, but no, we have no legal standing. We’re not a formal organization of any kind. And it’s because we want it to be affordable. Once you get into the solid world of corporate insurance and nonprofit organizations and whatnot, it becomes very expensive by default.

 

Guy Windsor 

So you don’t, you don’t bother with insurance, then?

 

Romana Shemayev 

No.

 

Guy Windsor 

That’s refreshing.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, we are equivalent of a group of friends or neighbors who gather together to play soccer or football in the park on the weekend.

 

Guy Windsor 

You just do it with swords.

 

Romana Shemayev 

We just do it with swords.

 

Guy Windsor 

I’ve always said soccer would be better with swords.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, everything would be better with swords. We do have a waiver to sign, because that’s just a smart thing to do, but literally because there is no there is no club, there is no institution to sue, and if all of a sudden you have a problem with the person, when you sign the waiver that you’re doing an activity, just like you can break your leg playing soccer, you can get bruised by doing swords. Frankly, I do believe very honestly that, especially the way we do things, driving a car is more dangerous.

 

Guy Windsor 

Honestly, driving a car is more dangerous than most things. It’s not the safety aspect so much. Well, I mean, I taught that seminar in Madison recently, and there’s no insurance for that, so technically, I was hosting it. So people paid me directly, and Chris organized the hall for me, but I paid for it. So it was basically me. And the thing is, I think you’re unlikely to get sued unless you treat people in a way that makes them feel they’ve been hard done by. And the insurance isn’t going to help you there anyway,  because the one thing insurers are really good at is hiring lawyers to get out of claims.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, exactly. We rent space from a community one of the oldest community houses in Madison. We are very lucky. The Neighborhood House. It’s probably the oldest Community Center in Madison. We rented for, like, a really marvelous price, for 60 bucks a month. So we suggest that people donate 10 and it’s a suggestion. If you’re in a position to donate towards the rent, please do.

 

Guy Windsor 

If there’s no formal organization, where does the donation go?

 

Romana Shemayev 

The donation goes to, we have a bookkeeper.

 

Guy Windsor 

So it has its own bank account?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Not separate bank account. It’s basically like a designated fund. There is transparency, like anybody can.

 

Guy Windsor 

Now I’m just curious, because a lot of people listening are at that stage in their historical martial arts career where they’re thinking about starting their own thing, right? And you may be the first person we’ve had on the show who has been running a completely informal, very low barrier to entry, very little in the way of paperwork, but it’s been going for 10 years. So I’m digging into the details, because I think it may be particularly useful for some of the listeners to get some depth on exactly how, how all of that nitty gritty works so they can see it doesn’t have to be a 501 C or whatever you call it over there, or a limited liability company or whatever else.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Basically, what it is that my husband, Roland, cuts the check to the neighborhood house every month, right? Just like I used to before, before Roland became our administrator. People donate, whoever can donate, give him 10 bucks.

 

Guy Windsor 

And that works?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yeah. Call it a jar. It just goes in the jar, right? And then it becomes like, well, if we have surplus, people can check what the surplus is, and then, actually, if all of a sudden, we become feral again, and we need to find new place. Well, there is a little money already donated towards that.

 

Guy Windsor 

Or you could decide to buy some loner gear or something like that.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yeah. Well, loner gear right now, I in 10 years, collected more stuff than I know what to do with. But yes, if we were to go that route, the question is, where it’s going to be stored and who’s going to haul it?

 

Guy Windsor 

One of the reasons I got my own salle within months of turning professional and moving to Finland, and literally, I moved to Finland on the 15th of March, the first class was on the 17th of March, and on the first of June, I moved into a permanent space that I had found because I was just did not want to haul other people’s weapons around all over the place.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, yeah. And then also if somebody is in a position when they literally cannot donate and times are tough. For many people, it’s a luxury. Well, then guess what? You’re covered. Don’t sweat it. Your presence is more important than 10 bucks that you would otherwise donate.

 

Guy Windsor 

My friend Jessica Finley, she has a sweetheart deal on a rental space, so she has a permanent training space, which is fantastic, and she does private lessons and classes and whatever. And it’s all by donation. She doesn’t set fees or anything, just there’s a note with a QR code or whatever, and people donate as much as they want. And it seems to work.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, it does work. And I think if find the right arrangement, it certainly works marvelously.

 

Guy Windsor 

Also find the right people.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, well, the thing is, if we were feral, like we were before, before we moved to The Neighborhood House, we were what I call the feral club. We met when the weather allowed in a designated park. Then there is absolutely no donation, because there is nothing to donate. Parks are free. Yeah, that’s the only reason we need to the money is to pay the rent. Otherwise, honestly I value my time, trust me, I value my time. But I also, I take a huge delight in doing what I do. Even when it benefits other people, I do it for me, that’s why. That’s why it works. And I tell people up front, like, you know what? I don’t call myself an instructor, although, by default I do instruct a lot. But I don’t call myself that because I think it’s unnecessary. I think it creates a very different dynamic that I don’t want. I tell people, you know what, I’m a fraud. If you want to know what I am, I’ll tell you right now I’m a fraud. I cannot say with integrity that I know how it was done. I can tell you that I have deduced, by trial and error, some idea how it well might have been done, or what we think historical sword fighting might well have been based on this, it’s woefully incomplete. We don’t have any oral tradition. There is a lot of assumption in this text that you already know a hell of a lot before they go into what they’re talking about. Therefore, we are engaging into communal interpretation of the source available to us. I just happen to be the person who read one or two pages ahead of you, and we’re going to do it together and make it happen. I did not go back in time to train with Liechtenauer, Fiore, or Peter von Danzig. Therefore I cannot call myself an instructor with the same integrity as a fencing coach in the modern Olympic fencing, who has studied in a certain framework, in a tradition, under a coach with a very developed way of doing things. And this is a complete anarchy, and it’s in its infancy, and we’re just trying to do it together. That’s it.

 

Guy Windsor 

It’s a very historical martial arts way of doing things. Yeah, this is the most bootstrapping martial arts I’ve ever been anywhere near. It’s great. So excellent. Now I have some questions that I ask all my guests, and first of which is, what’s the best idea you haven’t acted on yet.

 

Romana Shemayev 

The best idea, I thought long and hard about that. I think the best idea have not acted on yet, is to separate the beginners from the advanced. We simply do not have the time and the luxury to do that, because we meet once, once a week for two hours. It’s very tricky. And the transient nature of Bent Blades is such that you never know what the ratio of beginners versus advanced will be there. In the perfect world, we would have our own salle, would have our own armory. We would have a castle for God’s sake. And we would be doing nothing but that. And in that case, of course, there would be beginners classes and intermediate classes and advanced classes, and all fight practices and five days a week, or maybe seven and whatnot. In reality, the way we operate, it’s we have every time, every Sunday, it’s a great unknown, who is going to show up, what’s going to happen. And the way I was trying to mitigate it is to pair up a beginner with a more advanced person, and then basically go through, go through the book.

 

Guy Windsor 

Von Danzig. There’s an art to running a mixed level class. And the way I do it is, I mean, I run more formal classes than you do, so it’s easier for me just to structure things the way I want them. But I start out with everybody doing pretty much the same thing, and then we’ll take the same thing, and the more advanced students will do it at the advanced level, and the more beginners will do it at the more beginner level, but they’re doing the same basic things. Maybe it’s a footwork exercise. The advanced people are doing a more advanced one. The beginners are doing a more basic one.

 

Romana Shemayev 

It’s actually not unlike how we do it.

 

Guy Windsor 

But then the critical thing is, then the students come together, and the advanced students take beginners, if, depending on the numbers, of course, but the advanced students will take a beginner and improve them in one specific way, like get them able to strike in this way, or get them able to do this technique at this sort of speed, or whatever it is. And that’s maybe five minutes or 10 minutes, and then so the beginners have then been trained up a little bit, then it separates out again. So the intermediates, or more advanced students, are working at their level, and the beginners are taking what they have just learned and practicing it, and it sort of goes back and forth this way, so that you don’t get the situation where someone who’s shown up for their one class a week spends that entire time teaching a beginner, which is maybe not something they want to do. They’re never going to be spending more than five minutes with a particular beginner. And their job in that five minutes is clearly articulated, it’s to make them better at this very specific thing, right? So they’re learning to coach at the same time as they’re taking part in the class. And that means that you don’t get that sort of siloing effect, because they’re constantly coming in and out of each other’s groups. You don’t get this sort of like clique of advanced students and clique of beginners who don’t really know each other. They’ve all trained together during the day, or during the class, but the beginners haven’t slowed down the intermediates, particularly, or the advanced students. And the advanced students have used the beginners to learn something themselves, such as how to coach. So by the end of it, bring them all back together for the last thing we do is they’re all doing the same thing again. So they start doing the same thing, they finish doing the same thing, and then in between, they’re sort of interleaving back and forth. And that way, it prevents the problem of the advanced student getting basically stuck doing basic stuff all night.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Sure thing, yeah, what you say resonates very deeply, because some of it is exactly how we do things, the devil, of course, in the details. And since you have a lot more experience doing this, you are probably much more refined than how we do it. We do somewhat similar in terms of, like, we have common warm ups for everyone. Right now I began to kind of raise the new generation of people who are able to coach. So pretty much, I give them the opportunity to take the lead, because I won’t be here forever. If I want this to continue as an initiative, I have to allow the new blood with new approaches and new ideas to do it. So I’m becoming more and more hands off in the sense that empowering younger people to do the thing, and they do really, really well. So we actually rotate through the instructors. But we do warm ups for everyone, and it’s footwork, agility and just basic orientation yourself in the space, in the stance, learning the body mechanics and the movement. And sometimes it’s going to be like a glove fencing. Sometimes it will be like, no, here you are. You’re in the fighting stance. Like your job is to arrest the offending hand. Here’s the hand, that’s a sword. The way to make sure you don’t get struck, you have to control that sword. Put your paw on top of that paw, right? And step and move out of the way. We call it cat fight, because cats fight that way. So, you don’t touch them, you just focus on the offending hand and you arrest the offending hands, move away from the offending hands, find the right angle to do so. Everybody benefits from that. And then we focus on fundamentals, passages from the book. And the way it’s typically done is, unless it’s a class with a very specific agenda, then you read the passage, you read the verse from Liechtenauer. This is what it says in the unintelligible language of its time. This is how it got deciphered. This is what we think how it’s done, get the move, repeat the move, advance with the beginners, and then hone it and then and make it your own and just go through the book like that, and then come back to the fundamentals, because fundamentals win fights, everyone should be able to do that. And I tell people like the thing is, it’s up to you. Completely up to you. What you get out of this adventure, right? Your goals are your own. But if you really want to progress in the art, you have to spend three or four times training solo for one group session.

 

Guy Windsor 

Oh my god, there are two kinds of students. There are those that train on their own and there are those that don’t, and it’s the ones that train on their own who get somewhere.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I can show you how to do the correct Zornhau, or any, any other thing, but you have to drill it into yourself. And that’s on you. That’s your self-discipline. Otherwise, you will be in the place when everybody will have to show you how to do this again and again.

 

Guy Windsor 

Here’s my question, right? It seems to be working just fine with the advanced students mixed in with the beginners. So why do you need to separate them?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, again, because it would also mean that we meet more than once. I think it would benefit both the advanced and the beginners, because the advanced would be clearly in the possession when they coach, and the beginners would feel, hopefully more at ease that they’re doing thing on their level and things are tailored specifically for them.

 

Guy Windsor 

I discovered a long time ago that there are a lot of people who will show up to a beginners course, who will not show up to a drop in class, where they might be the only beginner. Just because, it’s an anxiety inducing thing. But if you know that, okay, today, at this time, in this place, they are expecting people who have never done this before to show up, and that’s what it’s for. That’s fine, but if you show up and you’re going to be the only person in the room who’s never done it before, not everyone will even do that. They’ll just stay home. I was astonished when I first did a proper, formal beginners course in Finland nearly two years after I started my school, I was like, holy crap. Where did all these people come from? And they basically just been waiting to be certain that they’d be welcome.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well we try to make certain that people are welcome. The thing is, to be able to embrace this, what we do, when you’re an adult and have developed a number of, fears and complexes and feelings of personal inadequacy, as many adults develop by the school of hard knocks. It’s a tremendous act of courage to actually start doing this. One of the most marvelous books I’ve read about us is this.

 

Guy Windsor 

Fear is the Mind Killer, yes, okay, could you just open up the book and read the first line?

 

Romana Shemayev 

“Martial arts make us stronger, not just physically, but mentally.” Its introduction is that what you mean, or?

 

Guy Windsor 

No, the very beginning of the book, the very beginning.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Fear is the mind killer. How to build a training culture that fosters strength and resilience. For Jordan with love.

 

Guy Windsor 

Next page.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Next page is acknowledgement. I see, I see.

 

Guy Windsor 

For those who haven’t read the book, the first line of that book in the acknowlegement section.

 

Romana Shemayev 

This book would not exist without Guy Windsor.

 

Guy Windsor 

Correct. Honestly, I am so proud of him. That book is so fucking good. It just blew my socks off.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Her. It’s by Kaja Sadowski.

 

Guy Windsor 

Yeah, Kaja was her and is now him.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Oh, I thought it was the other way around.

 

Guy Windsor 

No, no, he’s now Kajetan Sadowski.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I see, I thought it was the other way around. Oh, no, I stand corrected. There we go. Very good, very good. Yeah, for some reason I thought it was the other way around, but it’s probably because I’m that way. Fair enough. Yes. Well, good for him. I’m glad that’s awesome.

 

Guy Windsor 

So the best idea you haven’t acted on is separate out the beginners and the advanced, right?

 

Romana Shemayev 

That’s what I would think of when you asked the best idea I haven’t actually done yet. Yeah, that’s probably it.

 

Guy Windsor 

So why haven’t you done it?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, because we meet only once a week for two hours.

 

Guy Windsor 

Here’s my thought, why not have a feral, advanced students only, bish bash bosh in the park on a Wednesday night?

 

Romana Shemayev 

I mean, the thing is, it’s not as easy, because people have jobs. People have other things, like, I do things, I fence rapier with the SCA on a Wednesday night. And some people come to that, but that’s a very different outfit, sure. Ihe issue is the time and the availability and it’s a fringe hobby for no money, and there are other things we do.

 

Guy Windsor 

Fair enough. Okay, all right. So speaking of money, if somebody gave you a million dollars or similar, enormous sum of money, to spend improving historical martial arts worldwide. How would you spend the money?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well that is noodle scratcher. Because, first of all, I don’t know international HEMA scene well enough to know what it’s, what it needs and how to improve it. Second…

 

Guy Windsor 

It doesn’t have to be worldwide, you can narrow the scope if you want.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, you. Specifically said worldwide.

 

Guy Windsor 

I did, but it’s okay, but the money isn’t real. So you can adjust the question

 

Romana Shemayev 

Also, $1 million, let’s be real. It’s not a lot of money really, especially for a worldwide scene, if you want to, yeah, so I would probably say that the short answer would be really nothing. Second, I would probably try to improve the worldwide scene, starting local and small, and I don’t know, invest in a kind of reliable martial arts center which would train future studies, would go out into the world and become part of the international HEMA scene. That’s probably most realistic way what one could do with a million dollars.

 

Guy Windsor 

That’s interesting.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I would do some something like what Chicago Sword Guild have done.

 

Guy Windsor 

Yeah, okay, and they didn’t need a million dollars for that.

 

Romana Shemayev 

But I also know that they run it professionally.

 

Guy Windsor 

There’s the Chicago Sword Guild and there’s Fortesa Fitness. They’re very closely related. But Fortesa Fitness is the professional organization. CSG is the nonprofit.

 

Romana Shemayev 

They do it on the level which we do not do things on. So for me it’s like, it’s all, wow, that’s stratosphere, that’s amazing.

 

Guy Windsor 

They are very good. I mean, the real function of that question is to get my guests thinking about what needs to be improved or fixed in the historical martial arts world.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, in that case, I can tell you people’s hearts need to be fixed, okay, to quote David Lynch, some people need to fix their heart or die because transphobia and fascism are real problems in the HEMA scene internationally, and that’s something which needs to be addressed. Like some countries I know are pretty decent, others are horrible for trans people. And it absolutely has to be addressed if in the civilized world, this thing actually has to maintain some respectability. Fascism is a very big problem as well. For some people, because it’s historical and European and whatnot, it’s kind of takes them to very dark places. Yeah, that’s why we had to rename a jacket. The AP jacket, after whose name is no longer to be mentioned in a company. So those are problems which really need to be fixed in terms of how people train, how people run events, how people do things, honestly, I don’t know enough to have an opinion.

 

Guy Windsor 

That’s refreshing. Most of my guests are pretty damn opinionated. Has to be said.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I don’t know enough to have an opinion. I know some people in the international scene whom I really like to watch on YouTube, and I learn a great deal from them, and some of them, I actually write and solicit opinion and coaching notes, people that I trust, whose opinion I value, and some of them actually respond. So I think maybe to promote, because there’s, on one hand, it exists all over the place. On the other hand, there is not that many of us. There are not that many of us who are really, really good at it. So, maybe to foster the culture of generosity, acceptance, humility, being able to ask for help when you need it, that’s a big one, and being able to offer that help when asked.

 

Guy Windsor 

That’s a big one. I think, getting people to ask for help when they need it is hard.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes. I think to foster the culture when we’re focused on improving each other instead of being the biggest, baddest kid on the block. And I see that actually in the Midwestern scene when in tournaments I go to, members from different clubs are really into it, not because they want to beat each other up, but because they want to have a good time, learn from each other and grow together. I think that’s fundamental. I think ultimately the ultimate end goal of this is to become a better person, to create a community. Because, guess what? Your sword fighting skills, they’re finite.

 

Guy Windsor 

Yeah, and also not terribly relevant.

 

Romana Shemayev 

And not terribly relevant, and your sword fighting skills will not stay with you. But what will stay with you is the feeling of community. It’s the friendships and the relationships you built. You know, it’s how you how you felt doing this. I think that’s the most valuable thing that we can take from it, and I think that’s what probably internationally we should focus on. Because if we do this without a goal of making the world a better place, then why do we do it. Why? Why do I do what I do when I do it? Anybody can pick up a sword and hit another person with it. It’s not terribly difficult. It’s not hard. It’s much harder to create a culture when you grow together and better yourself.

 

Guy Windsor 

So you were born in the USSR, and according to your bio, you bring the dissident art of pre-Glasnost USSR to American audiences. So how did that come about?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, I do believe that the music we listen to when we’re teenagers is the kind of music that stays with us for the rest of our lives. So I listen to a lot of kind of semi underground alternative dissident recordings of the artists which were either banned or not specifically promoted, as widely as poets and singers. So that is probably where kind of that rebellious dissident streak comes in. Another thing is, what do you consider dissident? Because one thing is, there are several ways to be a dissident. Some of the artists I try to emulate, and also this stuff I translate, they would not necessarily call themselves a dissident in a sense that they were intentional rabble rousers, but they addressed forbidden topics. They spoke when they were not supposed to speak. They ruffled feathers which were best left unruffled. So if that makes one a dissident, then they were. I focus mainly on the poetry of Vladimir Vysostky. He’s kind of a Russian Bob Dylan. He lived and worked in the 60s and 70s. He was born in 1938, he passed away in 1980 so his kind of creative period of, you know, writing, singing, acting, he was a professional actor, falls kind of very late 50s and all the way into 1980. He would not call himself a dissident. In fact, he publicly said, I believe, actually on American radio at one point when he was interviewed by Sixty Minutes once in his life that he said, no, I’m not a dissident in any way, shape or form. However, I’m going to show you what he wrote, and you will see that it really falls into a dissident camp in one way or another, because he dared to talk about stuff nobody dared to talk about.

 

Guy Windsor 

So do you think you do think he was basically stating on American Sixty Minutes that he’s not a dissident, so that the Russian authorities will let him speak on American radio?

 

Romana Shemayev 

You know, it’s quite possible. He very well may have been very cautious and not to give them too much trouble.

 

Guy Windsor 

Yeah, it’s not normal for someone who’s considered to be a Russian dissident in the 1960s or 70s, to end up on radio in America. That’s unusual.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, his life story is kind of interesting, because he was born to a French citizen, French citizen of a Russian origin. And she, in order to facilitate his travel abroad, actually joined the French Communist Party, and that allowed her to come over to the USSR, pretty much unchecked and unchallenged, and allowed him to travel abroad like no one else would in his time in the USSR. And he also took great liberties, because he was truly a free person living in an unfree country. So he wouldn’t ask permission. He would just do and he would rely on the old maxim that is better to ask forgiveness than permission. So some of his traveling, like to America and to Mexico, they were actually unsanctioned, and then the authorities worked out, we don’t know who authorized that. It probably it was authorized because he’s doing this, and you can’t do this stuff unauthorized, but we don’t know who did this. He did it himself. So that kind of defiance, in a sense, is a form of dissidence, absolutely,

 

Guy Windsor 

I’m surprised that they didn’t kill him.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, no, he they did not kill him, but he really was not promoted as well as he really wanted to be. First of all, he was not published at all. They did not publish his poems in a written form in any way, there was no book of his stuff until he died. Second, the authorities were really divided about him, because Brezhnev loved him.

 

Guy Windsor 

That helps.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, that helps a lot. He loved him to the point that he invited him to perform a small concert for him while he was hospitalized, like over the phone. So Brezhnev loved him and others didn’t. And because the higher ups were so divided about him, the middle management of the party apparatus and whatnot, they kind of tried not to suppress him on one hand and not to give him too much freedom on the other hand, right? So he kind of managed to survive that way. He did a very good job killing himself. He was an alcoholic, and he ended up also as a drug addict, so no wonder he died aged 42.

 

Guy Windsor 

Very sad.

 

Romana Shemayev 

And I think that his alcoholism and drug addiction ultimately were caused because it was super hard for him to be free in an unfree country and to constantly deal with it was like death by 1000 cuts when you’re really not allowed to do what you would like to do. Most of his concerts that he performed all around the USSR were sort of unsanctioned, or semi sanctioned. So it was a very risky business to do, because everything had to be sanctioned in that country. But people don’t understand that today.

 

Guy Windsor 

How did you come across his work?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Bootleg recordings. You know, the good old fashioned huge rolls of tape that you fed.

 

Guy Windsor 

Tape to tape? Wow. Old school.

 

Romana Shemayev 

That’s how his work was disseminated, and then only after the perestroika, they started to make his stuff into albums. And they found recordings that he made abroad and home concerts with friends, and they started putting them on vinyl. And I began to collect those vinyl records, I think, in the late 80s, and that’s how I’ve come to really, really love his work.

 

Guy Windsor 

Okay, so he’s one of the dissident voices that you the reproduce, if you like. So how do Americans respond to the music?

 

Romana Shemayev 

I mean, overall, well, overall, well. I do have, first of all, a small following of friends who really enjoy what I do and what I perform. And in bars and whatnot, people drop in, they listen, they stay. So I think, I think it’s well received. You know, nobody threw rotten tomatoes at me. We can talk about this, but I can show you. I can show you because, as they say, don’t tell, show them. So I actually prepared kind of a small selection of three artists, Vysostky, Galich and Bashlachev and myself to show you at the end what I do. And I decided to group it in such a way that there will be two songs per artist, one which does not require an introduction, because it’s kind of, I think it’s universal, and another one, which requires a little bit of like, let me give you some background story to it. Okay?

 

Guy Windsor 

One second, there’s a sound in the background.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yes, they decided to create to rake leaves. Oh, god, is that going to be a problem? Should we move?

 

Guy Windsor 

Okay, just let it run. Just don’t say anything for a second. Oh, they stopped. Okay, okay, I should be able to isolate that and cut it out, but let me just make a time check. All right. Okay.

 

Romana Shemayev 

This one was written by Vysostky in 1968. I translated it as All Is Wrong, and I’ll tell you later why. But here’s the song:

 

“Light is burning through the night. In my sleep, I grow late my dear

Please just wait, wait until tomorrow,

but in the morning, all is wrong.

No joy has found either smoke or drink at dawn,

hangover to the realm.

 

All is wrong, very wrong.

So, very, very, very, very, very, very wrong.

 

So wrong.

Hangover to drown

pubs, a bursting at the seams,

wine, golden, crimson

for the foolish paradise, but for me, a prison,

sanctimonious and dang

church, his burning and sons,

no, the Church is all screwed up,

preying on the innocent.

 

All is wrong, very wrong.

So very, very, very, very wrong.

So wrong

 

preying on the innocent,

I run fast upon a hill,

craving fresher air

On a hill after a standstill, slim and tall and fair,

I would gladly divine climbing up to heaven.

But water does not turn to wine,

dough has lost its leven.

 

All is wrong, very wrong.

All is very, very, very, very, very wrong.

 

So wrong.

 

Dough has lost its leven

Through the hills

along the shore of a lazy river

God is dead and nothing more,

a lonely road springs ever.

And a Forest thick and wild,

demons lurk in darkness,

and at the end of it, I find a chopping block and axes

proud and silent and strong

horses dance in tandem on my journey.

 

All is wrong,

church and work and tavern.

Nothing sacred.

Nothing’s whole.

Everything’s a hoax.

No. Folks, all is wrong.

It’s a bummer.

Folks, all is wrong,

 

Very wrong.

So very, very, very, very, very wrong.

So wrong.

It’s a bummer, folks.”

 

Romana Shemayev 

So on one hand, you don’t need an intro for this song.

 

Guy Windsor 

No, it’s pretty clear that everything’s wrong.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, yes, and it’s kind of the existential quandary of trying to find meaning in life around you and finding that everything is literally screwed up. So is it a dissident act to compose a song like this when the entire state media and what is considered to be a healthy socialist lifestyle insist that everything is fine, that the country is doing great, that there is nothing to be unhappy about, and then you do this. Because this is actually what’s around you. And here comes the finer aspects of translating this, because the original Russian conveys that all is wrong, not by the means of the refrain, but it’s mainly built into the body of the text itself, but the refrain itself is sort of variations of a Romany dance, romance. It’s a nonsensical refrain to anyone but a Russian speaking audience, because it literally goes, Hey, one, hey, one, like this, and many, many more times like that. It’s basically like simulating with your clapping your hands while dancing, because the tune itself is called the Romany or romance with a grand entrance. So that’s when you can imagine a Romany woman with a bright shawl going out into the tavern and dancing around, and everyone is applauding at it. So the French translation of this song, which was done while Vysostky was alive, translated the refrain as “Rien ne va” And I decided to take that as an inspiration for my translation, because rien ne va means in French things don’t go well.

 

Guy Windsor 

Yeah, nothing’s working. Okay, so that’s interesting from the translator’s perspective, because at that point you’re not actually translating the Russian in terms of what the words actually mean, you’re translating the sense of the song itself and creating a new refrain that will make sense to the audience in which in the language group to which you’re aiming. So that English speakers will understand.

 

Romana Shemayev 

As a translator of sources, you should know that any translator is an interpreter. You have to interpret the original source and make it palatable for a different audience. So you have to be faithful to the text on one hand. On the other hand, you have to be even more faithful to the actual meaning. And if you get too hung up on the text says this, that actually can be nonsensical in a literal translation word to word.

 

Guy Windsor 

Sure. But then the purpose of translating the song into English is so you can sing it in English to English speakers.

 

Romana Shemayev 

And that adds another layer of complexity.

 

Guy Windsor 

When I’m translating Fiore, for example, into English. I am doing it so that other people can translate his words into martial arts actions. So, because I’m not there to perform what I think the meaning is, I am much more constrained in how I can actually translate it. So, I have arguments with fellow translators who I feel put too much interpretation into the translation, and don’t just repeat what the person said, just in the new language. And, you know, sometimes we come across phrases that just don’t have a meaning in English. We don’t know what they mean. For example, Vadi at one point says, “and understand this, which is a steel yard’s trace”,tracto di stadera., A steel yard is a thing for measuring weight. A trace on the steel yard is probably the gradations on the scale of which the weight is measured. But “and grasp this, which is a steel yard’s trace,” it could mean it’s a very small and simple thing, or it could mean it is super important to be very accurate. I mean, nobody knows, because the phrase is so disused, so I just translate it as “which is a steel yards trace,” and put a footnote saying, we don’t actually know what this means, but this is what it says. But that doesn’t work in a song. You couldn’t do that when you’re singing.

 

Romana Shemayev 

With the historical sources for fencing, unless you’re talking like philosophical bodies of literature, for example, on destreza, when to get to the sword part, and how to do things you have to go through like, several chapters of philosophy, or how philosophy was understood in the 16th century by that particular author. But things like Fiore, I’m not very familiar with Fiore, so I’m really not the authority on that. But you take like Peter von Danzig, or Ringeck, it’s pretty much, it’s like paint by number. Do this, do that. How to put your TV together and set it up. Do this, if this, then that, and then figure it out. So it’s a very different literature. With poetry, as I said, you have to be mindful of the text and keep the integrity of the text, you have to convey the meaning, and the meaning really ought to prevail, because, as I said, you cannot sometimes give a word to word translation. It just will be, first of all, very poorly understood, and it won’t sound right, and then you have to find the right measure.

 

Guy Windsor 

I’ve translated some bits of Fiore into verse.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I would love to hear that.

 

Guy Windsor 

I will happily send it to you. I have a whole booklet of mnemonic verses on Fiore, and it started out by taking one particular little paragraph, recognizing it had about the right amount of information for a sonnet, and then translating it, and then transforming the translation into a sonnet. I couldn’t publish that as a translation because it is too far away from the original to do what it needs to do as a translation for historical fencing people, but as an exercise in understanding the source text, it is fantastic. I will send you the Armizare Vade Mecum. And by the time this goes out, I hope that I’ll be able to release the Armizare Vade Mecum on my website as well, because I have literally just made an agreement with the original publisher to be able to do that so people listening who also want it, can go to swordschool.shop and probably find it.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Eventually, I’ll publish my stuff too, my translations without footnotes, and then you’ll get a copy if I get around it in our lifetime.

 

Guy Windsor 

Well, if you need any help on the publishing side, let me know.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I’d appreciate that because I’m not very well versed into technical stuff.

 

Guy Windsor 

Well, I’ve published four books this year alone. It’s a solved problem.

 

Romana Shemayev 

For you this is a job, for me this is a hobby. I make beer money with this, and that’s about it. So here’s another song which I want to show by this artist, which really falls into, in my opinion, definitely a more direct political dissident category, because also written in the 60s. I think the Khrushchev’s thaw, kind of, this brief period of liberalization, was already on the wane. And this song is about, well, essentially gulag that everyone knew about, but nobody talked about it. Because it sort of still existed, but in a different way, the concentration camps gave way to psychiatric hospitals and forced psychiatric treatment for dissidents on one hand, and second, the whole topic of Stalin’s era was kind of hushed up in many ways, Stalin was proclaimed, yeah, he was bad, and that was about it. And any idea that Stalin was, in fact, not just the logical development of the ideas of Lenin, but possibly the only way that kind of a cannibalistic system we know as communism can possibly exist. That definitely was a taboo topic. I firmly believe that the Communists, at least in, I can’t speak for other countries, although, what I gather, it’s pretty horrific as well. I do believe in the USSR alone, Communists outstripped the Nazis in the art of killing people.

 

Guy Windsor 

Absolutely. Because they had decades longer to do it.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, that too. And the thing is, if the Nazis got the idea of the Gulag of concentration camp system as the methodical, well thought out way to exterminate people, they got it from the from the Soviets. They started doing that in, pretty much in 1918. So this song is called The White Hot Sauna. And this one, I always kind of give a little cultural background. First of all, in the Russian culture, just Slavic overall, I think Finnish as well. A sauna is a place not just for cleansing, physical cleansing. It’s a place for spiritual encounter. It’s spiritual cleansing. It’s the place where you meditate, sometimes try to solve very complicated problems, because it just puts you in almost like an alternate state of mind. In the Russian tradition, sauna, the place and the experience is considered sacred. So lots of steam, lots of heat. And this is a story of a person who literally just came back from doing time in gulag and those are his reflections. There will be a little bit of Russian in the song, just because.

 

[sings in Russian]

“Would you heat up the sauna?

My hostess, I will stand there an hour or three

blazing rocks, cold water and steamy haze

will from doubts, perhaps set me free.

I will lounge to the point of indecency

make more steam to drown my past

and the present tattoo of Stalin’s face will go blue on the skin of my chest.

Would you crank up the heat?

Would you crank up the heat?

Would you crank up the heat to the premium.

I forgot what it’s like to feel warm.

I will sweat and the steamy delerium

will unleash my blocked memories’ storm,

how much faith and timber

exclaim gulag, camps and prisons and dolorous blood

on my chest on the left, Stalin’s ugly mug,

and the face of my wife on the right.

 

And although I have been a faithful citizen,

spent my life behind wire and bars.

I’ve traded my youth and stupidity for a lifetime of this deadly farce.

Would you crank up the heat to the premium?

I forgot what that so like to feel warm,

I will sweat and the steamy delirium

will unleash my blocked memories’ storm.

I remember that dawn when they came for me.

I managed to squeak, brother help!

and the guards hauled me off to Siberia

when millions slowly bled.

 

Where the labor and torture’s the devil’s arts

Where smiles around frozen wastes.

Where we inked his profile above the heart

to make sure he hears how it breaks.

 

Do not crank up the heat to the premium.

I forgot what it’s like to feel warm.

I will sweat and the steamy delirium

will unleash my blocked memories’ storm

and I shake from the chill of the memories

and the sting has my reason undone

from the poisonous fog of my frozen past,

I submerge into the steam’s scorching

balm bitter thoughts in my mind, are hammering

I was branded with Stalin in vain,

and his visage I’m viciously pummeling in vain hope that it goes away.

 

Would you crank up the heat to the premium?

I’ll recall what it’s like to feel warm.

I will sweat and the steamy delirium will unleash my blocked memories’ storm,

Would you crank up? Please don’t.

Would you crank up? Please don’t.

Would you crank up the heat to the premium?

I forgot what it’s like to feel warm

I will sweat and the steamy delirium will unleash my blocked memories’ storm”

 

 

Romana Shemayev 

That was a revolutionary song at the time.

 

Guy Windsor 

I can see, okay, I’m not used to having that sort of thing on my show, so I’m not quite sure how to follow it.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, let me tell you about another artist that I translate not as much because first of all, he wasn’t as prolific. Second, he’s a little bit less universal, in the sense that Vysostky left behind over 700 finished poems and songs. So if you noticed, his poetic style is fairly colloquial. And I try to kind of do that like we don’t really say things in a polite society sometimes, the way he would put it, but he did it intentionally to make it really relatable to the people. The other one is Alexander Galich. They overlapped. He is little older in age. He was born, I think, in 1918 and passed away in 1971. He was killed. I swear to God, first, he was exiled from the country, and then I believe he was killed. At least that’s the most up to date version of how he died. I think they staged his death as an accident by electrocution, but I don’t think that was it. But the thing is, he was a very outspoken, very decidedly anti establishment, anti, I would say, anti Soviet, in a sense, that he really fought the regime with his pen and with his guitar. And in his particular case, you could say that, yes, this machine kills fascists, and that he was trying to do that. Not only he, mercilessly poked fun at the regime. And I’ll sing one of his funniest songs. And I probably should start with that, because, just to give us a little more of a repeat, it’s a very tongue in cheek song, and I always sing it to younger audiences, because people throw Marxism and Karl Marx’s ideas around without, I think, fully realizing what they actually mean and what they can lead to. So this song is written by Alexander Galich in the 60s, and it is very deliberately poking fun at the root of it all, Karl Marx. In fact, the song has a preface, and the preface is a quote from Marx’s Das Kapital, “A specter haunts Europe, a specter of communism.” It’s called A Ballad of Surplus Value. So surplus value, in case our listeners do not know it’s a Marxist term, essentially, if I understand it correctly, for profit, this song employs several things. First of all, it’s written in the 60s. So Stalin was dead, and yet the atmosphere of fear and surveillance did not subside. In the USSR it was literally dangerous, for example, to have relatives abroad. That could have very negative consequences, especially if you kept in touch with them, because relatives abroad meant they live in capitalist countries. Capitalist countries were seen as scary, but very, very powerful. So the original song employs the term [russian term] for a fictional capitalist country, literally meaning a black eye, a country of a black eye, because it’s very, very strong, very powerful. They’ll kick your ass. So I translated that because there’s really, really no way to translate that. I decided I’ll be bold, and I translated that as Bigdickland. What more do we need to indicate, you know, strength and virility. Let me sing it, and then we’ll talk about it. So a specter haunts Europe. A specter of communism, Karl Marx.

 

 

All my life, I’ve been studying Marxism like a holy writ,

like a catechism, no screwing around, no fooling.

every holiday filled with enthusiasm,

I’ve dressed up like the specter of communism

and with a zeal testified everywhere, that Marxism is true, good and fair,

from A to Z, from A to Z, from A to Z,

am I crazy? Are you crazy? Who’s not crazy?

But what happened to me can’t be crazier.

I’ve purchased a portable radio, and that day I was on vacation, I’ve tuned into a classical station.

They broadcasted that famous opera about Carmen and something, and um pa pa

and I was just about to tune into a game,

and the radio mentioned my name.

Oh, what the hell. What the hell. Oh, what the hell?

you think it’s swell. It isn’t swell. It’s so not swell,

dear citizen, I barely understand

your aunt passed out in big dick land,

so please report to the Foreign Office to take care of some official business.

 

I rolled off my couch petrified.

This is bad. This is wrong. This is not alright,

a slippery slope. It is sketchy.

It is just so scandalously not Marxist.

 

Oh, what a shame. Oh, what a shame. Oh, what a shame.

It’s not a game. It is so lame. It is still fame.

I’ve spent the night wrecked with anxiety

before an end, that’s some notoriety,

and my wife is crestfallen and restless.

Stalin’s dead, but they still can arrest you,

 

and we packed your suitcase in the morning, just in case, I’m bagged without warning,

I arrive, and I tremble in fear, and they greet me with smile and cheer.

They laugh and jest, they laugh and jest, they laugh and jest

and I’m like an honoured guest.

I guess right away they’re calling a meeting for the last will and testament reading.

I’m such and such and signed mound and memory.

Everything’s worded so fancy and cleverly,

my husband a bum and a scoundrel can get bent because he’s an asshole.

I bequeath my estate, lands and factory to my favorite nephew, Anthony.

Oh fair and square, oh fair and square, oh fair and square. Turns out I’m going there

and you go where?

 

I come to work on Friday, at noon, I grab my boss, whom I’m about to moon,

kiss my ass for a well ugly fucker

for 100 find yourself another sucker,

and I drink all weekend in euphoria

to my auntie, rest in peace and memoriam

to the old motherland and new fatherland,

to my millions in the Bigdickland.

I drink and drink, and then the bill is out of the door.

Screw the bill. I want some more? Do you want more?

So I’ve spent all my savings on partying to a penny and all in one sitting,

and that all my friends bottle sharers

descend upon me with their open arms

We’re here for you, joy and sorrow, don’t be shy.

You’re welcome to borrow

all is settled between us and agreed

just send us something that you don’t need.

Well, thank you. Thank you for your money and your love,

and I’ll send you foreign stuff, some real good stuff.

So I borrowed up to 1000

No big deal. I’ll pay back

what’s a mere one grand?

But right now, one grand is a lot of cash,

and with this much cash, I will make a splash game

At night in the very best restaurant,

the best food, the best booze, not some cheap rotgut,

and two women with hair like feathers, for some reason, they’re calling me Edward,

We feast all day, and again all night, and I’m all right, and you’re all right.

We’re all all right.

Bacchanalia, wild and exclusive

went from Sunday to Sunday inclusive.

I wake up in the evening on a Monday, sit in front of the TV in my undies.

Something something about the outer space,

how we are ahead of the space race,

and then we interrupt this broadcast to bring you important news from abroad,

revolution in Bigdickland, the first decree of the new communist government,

total nationalization of all private property, lands, factories and all kinds of industry.

The peoples of the USSR warmly congratulate our siblings in Bigdickland with the glorious victory.

I look at the screen as if [unclear]

Nationalized. I mean, what the fuck?

It is mine, not the people’s. You can’t.

It was given to me by my aunt. This is bullshit. Not fair. It’s a farce.

All because of that stupid Karl Marx. For never was there a story of more

than the story of that surplus value.

And I have studied that bullshit from A to Z, and now I’m totally crazy.

Are you crazy?

 

Guy Windsor 

Oh my god, I knew it was all going to go horribly wrong, but I didn’t, didn’t realize how it was going to go horribly wrong.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yeah, so of course, you know that is like a dissident art par excellence. And the thing is, I love that kind of art in general, because first of all, it’s very catchy, it’s very relatable, it’s funny. And the thing is, you have to be able to laugh at evil to overcome it. You really do. Another one by this artist, which I believe does not need any kind of introduction, and it’s completely relatable for all times and places. And it’s called, I usually sing it in my Halloween show. It is called “Once More About the Devil”. Think of George Orwell 1984 as you listen.

 

I counted sheep this way and that, and I still couldn’t fall asleep,

and the devil arrived and sat on my bed, and his smile was broad and sweet,

and the devil said, how now, old friend, let’s be pals.

What do you say to that?

Let’s sign a treaty for days on end and by sin, earn out daily bread,

and you may cheat and defraud and lie and with ease all your friends betray.

And if you’re afraid to pay when you die, well, that’s later.

That’s not today.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

That’s later. That’s not today.

But you’ll know for sure the delights of sin.

One gray hair has the battle won.

That salvation is not in one for all, but when all are exactly like one,

He’ll be free to come and easy to go, free from scruples and consciousness.

When yes say no, when all say no and say yes, when all say yes,

and you will bake a pie in the sky while the hungry for a morsel pray.

And if you’re afraid to pay when you die, well, that’s later, that’s not today.

That’s later, that’s not today.

And what of your soul? It ain’t that much.

And perhaps there ain’t one at home.

In our nuclear age, our fluent Stone Age

conscience, cheaply sold and bought,

and when we croak, what dreams may come then.

And being good won’t save you from dying.

So there, my friend, just grab this pen and sign here on a dotted line,

and the devil fell silent and he said, still looking calm and unearthly kind.

Is it blood? I ask as I took the quill,

just ink the dead replied.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

Just ink, the dead replied.

 

Guy Windsor 

Okay, that’s a bit different.

 

Romana Shemayev 

They’re blowing leaves out there again. Found the right time to do it.

 

Guy Windsor 

So who wrote that one again?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Alexander Galich, the same guy who wrote about the surplus value. Actually, he was a World War Two veteran. He lived through the horror of Stalin’s regime. He’d seen it firsthand, so he knew what he was talking about. I mean, you can talk about the evil system and the oppressive regime, but at the same time, who wrote those reports, which landed people in jail? Who ratted each other out, who wrote 4 million reports on each other, just no ink, no need for blood.

 

Guy Windsor 

That’s horrible and it’s the weird bureaucracy of it all. It’s as soon as a person is reduced to a piece of paper, it’s much, much easier to make horrible things happen to them.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. So this is a newer piece, which I translated. I just discovered this artist, a marvelous, interesting, interesting young man. He passed away, like many artists, way too young. He was, I think, in his mid 20s, but he left behind something amazing, and I just love him.

 

Guy Windsor 

What’s his name?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Alexander Bashlachev. He passed away in the 80s, in 1988 I think he died, yeah, and he wrote this song, which I think is very relevant for today, considering the political climate especially. And that’s kind of where, if you want dissident art, this is about as dissident as it can get. It’s called The Total Watchman.

 

This town shape shifts, changes names by the hour,

the address of this place has been hidden from sight.

There is no spirit, no house, no tower,

where the total watchman celebrates through the night,

His nondescript icy hands in his pockets.

He’s a loaded spring.

He’s silent and stern.

A tornado of dust on the plane of red carpets.

He’s the absolute master of a total storm.

Every one of his steps is a hole of a hammer.

His archipelago is safe on his watch,

old papers on desks are disturbed by the clamor

made by trumpets of plaster, moldy and notched

A red glowing torch in a sterile white prison.

Every flicker highlights the forever lost days.

He sucks out every sound that is and that isn’t

with his rubber syringe stuck into to our veins.

Every anthem and march reflect the duty and order

in each barrack or school, a church, or a pub.

Here’s the watchful DJ of book and words ovens.

Here’s the flawless break dancer of the glad night club.

He bids us a warm welcome this modern day Kraken

and tonight’s celebration, he hosts for us

an old fashioned turntable beat up and shaken

where the needle screeches out an old time waltz.

A bowl for old times. Ah, it’s so sentimental,

a black widow nods at the sight of each guest

the tune of the walls is so documental,

like a banal report, like a common arrest,

like an illness from torture with poor prognosis,

like a guard on a tower, silent and tough

the total watchman, not Adolf, not Joseph

A Dusseldorf butcherand a skinner from [unclear]

the percussion of stamps, the synco of bureaucracy,

the blows of gas chambers, the swing of arrests,

the bills of search warrants the pause of hypocrisy,

violence of denied visitation request,

how harsh is a ballad of guards regulations,

the harmonious chant of bunks in death camps,

zero pounds of knuckles in standing ovations,

the strings of barbed wire, the light show of search lamps,

the KGB flutes, the drum bones of the Gestapo,

the same caliber notes on their music shits,

an informer, a train, a murderous couple.

The music repeats and repeats and repeats.

 

The total watchman is simply a culture

A well oiled machine from a long time ago.

Sunlight is chaos, but darkness is structure.

It is stalled. Does it matter? I figured you know.

I mean this town shape shifts, changes names by the hour,

the address of this place has been hidden from sight.

There is no street, no house, no tower where the total watchman celebrates through the night.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, here’s another one I’m going to show you, and it’s by a third artist, which I really love. It’s Alexander Bashlachev, and he sort of kind of followed in the footsteps of the other two, whether he realized it or not, he technically falls into the category of Russian rock, however, however, he never had a band, and he played an acoustic guitar pretty much all the way until his death. He died very young. He was, I believe, in his early 20s. And he died by suicide. He literally decided that he couldn’t cope with loneliness anymore. He was a genius, but, you know, geniuses are often very alone and very misunderstood. So he struggled with depression all his life. He left behind amazing songs like the total Watchmen, which you will factor in. This one is probably one of my very favorites, because it’s a very feeling song, and it’s probably the most surrealistic song that he wrote. Doesn’t really need much of an further introduction. Let me switch guitars. It’s much better on a 12 string, which, by the way, I think he preferred to play. It is called This Time To Fly. And whenever I think of younger people who are just beginning to find wings, I think of this song:

 

a hand on my shoulder.

Severed from birth,

a douche has flooded and soaked

my prison walls. I know what far I’m walking this earth

I will fly away

 

who will be ready to swing

both to the walls,

small games,

but I desire to live as much as to sing

I want to forgive these chains

 

The rings are red hot.

You know, fresh breath and blood.

Oh, targets of war.

Oh, I [unclear] lot,

expecting not death but love

our doctor will warm up the syringe in the sun,

and the ray of the needle again will find a bloodstream.

Don’t cry, don’t give up,

but see if you can.

Our love reigns supreme,

open your lips.

The glass is too small.

Drink it all to the dregs at once.

Spring bellows her final thunderous call

and gives everyone a chance

hear me bound head, ignorant, full,

understand it is never too late to open your heart,

the armor we shed, no matter how cold,

no longer keeps us apart

With the offspring of birds, the children of bees,

 

a bomb

lay down no words, a nuclear Prince

ascends his despotic throne,

don’t cry, don’t regret.

Put up easy and why

you and I are both orphans today.

Be brave, my friend.

It’s time to fly.

It’s time to fly.

Oh yeah, clear the way.

Be brave, my friend.

We must try to fly.

We must try to fly.

Oh, yo, clear the way.

 

That was one of the hardest song to translate, because it’s so surrealistic, and I just sometimes had to find kind of corresponding images. And that’s all I can say, because I translated I remember it took me maybe two hours to translate that one, which is a very short time, not the shortest I’ve done, but short. And I remember that I just had to turn one layer of my brain completely off and run with a stream of consciousness. Because to me, that song reads like a stream of consciousness. And this is the perfect example that you really don’t need to be anal retentive about word-to-word accuracy to convey the meaning.

 

Guy Windsor 

Okay, could you give me an example of the original Russian and your translation in English, just like an idea of a specific example, so we can get an idea of what you mean. Or is that a hard ask?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Let’s see. Well, going back to the first song I showed you today, all is wrong. I believe I gave the example when, yeah, when I substituted like, literal sentiment that all is wrong instead of the Hey 123, thing. In this particular song, honestly, I don’t have the Russian words in front of me. But, for example, the title of the song, and the final line is [Russian term] literally means “step away from the propeller.” You know, like in the old fashioned planes, a person had to manually start the propeller by pushing it down so it starts rotating. And then once it would rotate there would be a command, everybody away from the propeller, because that sucker is going to fly now. I have no idea what that command would be in English, nor I will have confidence that American audience today would actually understand the meaning of it. So I decided simply as Time to Fly.

 

Guy Windsor 

Okay, that makes sense.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Because the point of starting the propeller is so that the airplane can take can take off, so that would be the point of the song.

 

Guy Windsor 

That makes sense. Interesting. I really need to up my interviewing game, because I’ve just been deluged with all this extraordinary Russian dissident music, and I need to sit and process it for a few days before I come up with any questions.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Let me show you something I wrote, not a translation, but it’s my song. And kind of, every artist has their magnum opus, okay,

 

Guy Windsor 

This is yours, is it?

 

Romana Shemayev 

This is mine. If my magnum opus because of my choice of medium, poems are reasonably short, so I consider my magnum opus kind of the compilation of my very best, and I honestly think this is one of the better ones I read. I’m very proud of this piece, and it’s very apropos because October is, at least in America, it’s an LGBT History Month. So I wrote it back in 2015, it was a monumental year, the life of our country, because marriage equality, finally became the law of the land. So I wrote a ballad of Stonewall Riots. I meticulously researched the event. Read a lot about it. Read not just Wikipedia articles, but other sources as well, including recollections of those who still remember what happened.

 

Guy Windsor 

Could you just briefly describe the Stonewall Riots for listeners who may not be familiar?

 

Romana Shemayev 

Stonewall Riots happened in the last days of June of 1969. It was about three day long affair when what they thought would be a simple police raid on Stonewall Inn, which was kind of a low life gay bar in New York and Greenwich Village, turned into a formidable uprising when first the queer folks and then other folks who were sympathizers joined them, they fought the police, and that those riots gave start to what we call now the LGBT movement, or the beginning, the start of our fight for liberation. It’s a historic event. It’s historic event. Stonewall Inn is right now a museum.

 

Guy Windsor 

It’s a critical moment in the birth of the gay rights movement.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Correct, correct. And not just for the United States, but for the world as well. So I researched the event and things which I used in this song, they’re direct quotes, like police were taking the place was actually said on the premises. Those were the words the police entered the bar, the kick line chant, “We are the Stonewall girls” was chanted as they all lined up and formed a kick line and kicked at the cops, chanting what I will sing to. And because I’m driven to essentially storytelling and song, and that goes back to me essentially being a preacher. I love storytelling. I like to think that I’m reasonably good at that. So all songs that I write and songs I translate and songs I enjoy, the music I story driven, narrative. So this is a story of Stonewall riots. I dedicated that song to Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Riveran and Stormé DeLarverie . They’re all trans heroes, transgender people who were instrumental in that fight. And the curious thing about Stonewall Inn itself, it was a bar which was first of all, decidedly not white. It harbored people of color, and it was a place where drag queens and what we would call today transgender people. There was no such word for that back then, used to congregate. Like all gay bars at the time it was run by mafia, and that place was literally a pit. It didn’t even have running water. They washed glasses in a trough. So the police decided to pick literally on the most vulnerable, and they unexpectedly, they got an uprising.

 

 

I was 18, I ran away from home.

I knew I was a girl when I was five.

As I grew older, they all called me homo,

and very soon I had to learn to fight.

And when my mom decided to commit me

to that facility where they turned homos straight.

I ran away.

I ran away from home, happy to board the first bypassing freight.

And in New York, I lived in Greenwich Village,

and I turned tricks in order to survive,

and that’s all right, somehow I’ve managed.

It was a rough and very queer life,

and my sweet home, far away from home,

was a small tavern called Stonewall Inn.

It was a dive for unwelcome homos,

where mobsters sold [unclear] gin.

It was not long before I met my Danny,

or Danielle, as she was known to us

We two we much alike. It was uncanny,

and Sylvia has taught us how to dress

Marsha Johnson, Silvia Rivera

A stone butch dyke Stormé Delarverie.

I knew them all, and I will laugh forever

the legacy they left to set us free.

 

 

Police! We’re taking the place

your boss ain’t legit. No question

Wipe that freakish make up of your face.

Oh, look at you. What a fucking disgrace.

How much do you charge for a session?

Police! We’re taking the place.

Yeah, there is no stamp on this bottle,

Wipe the smile off your ugly face

Here you there

Break up that embrace.

Get out on the street. [unclear].

We’re taking the place.

South mafia preying on perverts.

What’s your age? What’s your sex, what’s your race?

This cross dresser don’t know his place.

[unclear].

You exist. That’s what’s causing disturbance.

We are shutting down this place.

 

Like deer in headlights, we sort of froze.

They flipped the switch and flooded us with light

beyond the covers to ascend to nose

walked forward, beaming, beaming with delight.

The cops announced to form a line

and then the elder, bless her, squeezed my hand,

[unclear]had a simple plan.

Police, we’re taking the place.

What’s your age, what’s your sex, what’s your race.

Jackson Thomas, the voice in this place,

we are shutting down this place.

It’s the [unclear]

the taunts, the insults, roving and frisking,

detectives, officers, the public moral squad.

They marched arrested gangsters out briskly

and then began to show us what’s what.

It dawned on them at that ungodly hour that they bit off far more than they could chew

a crowd gathered, someone yelled gay power, and few, many, and the cops were here.

And all of a sudden, lightning quick, Marsha Johnson threw the first brick.

 

The precinct requesting back up.

Gays fighting back. It’s unreal.

They look like they will blow up.

Four of us in the tavern, locked up.

Hurry up for it is our funeral,

Precinct requesting back up.

the New York finest vicious bugs and bullies

like never more deserved to be called pigs.

They had batons and handcuffs, guns and bullets,

and we had purses, bumps and matted wigs,

and when a cop has laid his hands on Danny,

she swung her purse and hit him on the head,

and he did not expect that from a tranny.

His eyes read plainly and I won’t be dead.

They grappled with each other like berserkers,

and then I heard an ear splitting cry,

the cop had Danny in a head lock, and cursing

drove his button right into Danny’s eye.

I see the bloody lens of Danny’s glasses

Into eye sockets stuck two inches deep.

This vision doesn’t fade as time passes.

I often wonder how I can sleep.

 

Precinct we can’t hold the street.

I request back up. It’s a riot.

Heads of fighting. We are in retreat.

They’re taking us down. I repeat.

I didn’t say quiet. I said, Riot

Precinct! precinct! precinct!

 

Tears in my eyes, the nails, blood on my clothes,

my spike heeled show like dagger in my hand,

my ears filled with what we yelled in chorus

on that summer night when the winter cover stand

and blows, vicious blows, fell upon us like rain, like hail, like infernal stain,

and yet we kicked and bellowed in chorus

the silly rhyme, the courage of disdain.

We are the Stonewall girls.

We wear our hair in curls

we don’t wear underwear

we show our pubic hair

we are the Stonewall girls

 

It was the dawn of our liberation,

not just a riot, an uprising, war,

trans women and drag queens shook up the nation

they led the [unclear] in blood and gore,

the homeless, the poor, the rejected,

cast out by the queer and the stray.

There was rage in every move reflected

refused for justice any longer wait.

We are the Stonewall girls.

We wear our hair in curls

we don’t wear underwear

we show our pubic hair

We are the Stonewall girls.

We wear our hair in curls

we don’t wear underwear

we show our pubic hair

we are the Stonewall girls

 

Precinct!

We are the Stonewall girls.

Tactical force!

We are the Stonewall girls.

 

The corner where Sylvia and Marsha have fought the fight for our rights today

And pulled us from self hatred and depression, that corner is now called Rivera Way

And for us alone as a wicked body count of countless Danielles from dusk till dawn

To fight for our freedom. We are bound to the stone wall. Uprising must go on

Tonight we are, the Stonewall Girls.

 

Guy Windsor 

Fucking hell, you’ve done it again. I’m not quite sure what to do with that.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Well, this is what I do when I don’t go to work.

 

Guy Windsor 

Wow, that was quite something.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Thank you.

 

Guy Windsor 

I think I’m going to put a content warning in the intro to this episode, because the average listener for the show is not used to hearing things like that on this show, but I think it’s an extraordinary thing to get to listen to when you have the chance. Well, thank you.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Thank you so much. Yeah, so Guy, there is one more song I’m going to show you, and it will be, I could not not choose this, because I do believe you’ll appreciate it. It’s almost a direct either segue into or a preface to the sword part. On a personal note, this is also one of my very, very favorite songs. It’s by Vladimir Vysostky, which I translated with enormous delight. And I dedicate that song specifically to my HEMA club, and at large, to all my HEMA friends, and you’ll know why it is called A Ballad of Nerds. Okay, the original title is A Ballad of Bookish Children. And sometimes Vysostky often had like more than one name for his for his songs. So this one was called, at one point, A Ballad of Bookish Children, A Ballad of Combat. But I decided to translate it as a ballad of nerds, because ultimately, that’s what we are. We are nerds with swords. It was originally written for a movie about Robin Hood. Just like most of the songs he wrote for cinema, it was not accepted. It did not pass the censorship, largely because it was simply affiliated with his name. The song was released after Vysostky’s death in a different film. It was featured in the Russian version of the movie Ivanhoe. It is played kind of as a soundtrack to the Robin Hood and all other good guys storming the castle. But I think this, this is very much about us:

 

 

in the comfort of home, where fires are warm,

where the trophies of war humbly hang on the walls.

Bookish children of peace read the stories of war,

learning countless scandals, decide old scores.

Children yearn to grow up, and they mimic adults playing war in the park, fighting negative fights.

Our mothers would mend our torn pants and shirts while we lost our heads in the sagas of yore

 

sweat would soak our hair and burn our eyes,

tales of noble knights made us whoop with delight.

We confuse savage howls with battle cries and with weapons of wood we pretended to fight,

and the way children of peace struggle to understand the full meaning of orders to die

where you stand the wisdom of strategy.

reading of maps and the science of war must be studied in depth,

but the [unclear] of combat would fill our heads.

Fairy tales of wars like the good always win

mothers, stuck us off the play into bed, to drift into innocent sleep and to dream

of battles and deeds of friendship and love and of slapping the enemy’s face with a glove

of punishing villains, of playmates next door, and of everything fun that we thought about war

but we cannot forever abide in the dreams

children grow in face real troubles afoot,

try to wrestle a sword out of cold, dead hands

of the Fallen who bid us to fill their boots,

feel the weight of the breastplate, the helm and the shield,

find out what it’s like a steel sword to wield.

A cowardly voice of the chosen one,

taste combat and tell me if war is much fun.

And when you watch your friend collapse in a fight

gushing blood from his wounds at your feet as he dies

and as you have all from guilt because you have survived

and dream of his voice and his death staring eyes,

you will learn that at last, you have found in this door

the true meaning of loss, the true meaning of war,

the grim visage of slaughter and the rattling breath

corpses cottons and crows, the horror of death of death.

But if you idled when Justice was calling to arms,

content to observe and staying away from all harm,

afraid to get dirty, hiding behind the wall,

then in this life, you failed to matter at all,

if you cleared your path with your grandfather’s sword,

defending the [unclear] you have suffered in blood

and is bathing in tears. You were true to your word,

then you have read useful books as a child, my friend.

 

Guy Windsor 

Wow. That was marvelous. Yeah, I can see why that’s very much written for the historical martial arts crowd. Yeah, I’ve had my face slapped with a glove.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Yeah? We played with swords as children, all of us.

 

Guy Windsor 

that’s right, why grow up? Well, thanks so much for joining me today, Romana, it’s been lovely to meet you.

 

Romana Shemayev 

You’re most welcome. Thank you for inviting me, and I do hope when you’re next in Madison, we’ll get to see each other.

 

Guy Windsor 

Well, likewise, absolutely and we should slap each other’s faces as gloves.

 

Romana Shemayev 

Oh my god yes, I would love to fight you. You’ll probably hand it to me.

 

Guy Windsor 

Excellent. But you can only try. You never know.

 

Romana Shemayev 

I will not make it easy.